Review: Spilling Beer on Laptops

I have to say, spilling beer on a laptop isn't as fun as I would have expected.

Two nights ago, I was eating dinner in front of my computer (fake buffalo chicken nuggets), playing "Jamble" with a friend on itsyourturn.com when I tipped over a bottle of Beck's beer. A third of it spilled on my laptop's keyboard and I hastily wiped it up with a rag I use to clean oil paint brushes. Then, lacking paper towels, I used toilet paper to soak up the rest -- that seemed more absorbent.

I thought I was fine until the screen went white and then the thing shut down. No smoke poured out of the thing and I heard no pop, so I thought I might be in the clear.

Now, I'm usually one for restrained panic, but I remained oddly calm. I felt like I should be angrier or more upset, but I wasn't. I calmly used my work phone to google "liquid spilled on laptop" for some advice. After ten minutes of waiting for wikianswers to load on my bulky Treo, I was unscrewing the casing in attempt to dry out the thing's innards.

Several hours later, I'm in bed, having given up. The next day, I take it to some place in midtown for a free quote. A few hundred bucks later, I have my files -- mostly music and porn -- but the thing is beyond repair. So I had to order a new laptop. I just made Dell's day.

I give this experience a meaty * out of ***** rating.